I can't believe I ate the whole thing

it completely baffles me how often americans pay for and drink bottled water this there is literally a thing that gives you free, unlimited water in pretty much every american home

PSA: TFW JOKES AND TFW NO GF POSTS ARE NOT FUNNY ANY MORE!

mellotron:

cophate:

THIS INCLUDES FEELS GUY POSTS

GET BETTER HUMOR

thank you

image

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

gummybunz:

"Hold up, just let me text ash, then you can do whatever you want to me"

this was right after i drop kicked my brother

gummybunz:

"Hold up, just let me text ash, then you can do whatever you want to me"

this was right after i drop kicked my brother

parzival221:

shak1ra:

redevoted:

bowserfucker:

oknope:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told 

IDK what kind of lives you all are leading, but this sounds like the boringest shit. “Yes I sent that email.” “Yeah, I like your outfit.” “I was sick.” “My mom said no” “No I wasn’t crying.” “Yes I read the Terms of Service”

what about a book of all the lies people have told you

Oh how the tables have tabled

Tables have tabled

im drunk and i’ve been listening to kanye and god damn

did you know that kanye’s amazing?

awwww-cute:

I tried to shame him for eating all my shoes. I’m not sure what I expected

awwww-cute:

I tried to shame him for eating all my shoes. I’m not sure what I expected

me: i love y-
ash: WOW im hungry

infinite-prepster:

guidedogintraining:

11 months of Stella.

2 months old to 13 months old. 

This is precious

wavepunk:

hemofilia:

jamesaleks:

uberhaxorimmortal:

He thought he was invincible

here’s the link to the article


Holy shitttt these white children REALLY need to stop fucking around

LMAO

this is from a satirical website. this did not happen

wavepunk:

hemofilia:

jamesaleks:

uberhaxorimmortal:

He thought he was invincible

here’s the link to the article

Holy shitttt these white children REALLY need to stop fucking around

LMAO

this is from a satirical website. this did not happen

neilpatrickharry:

The Very Potter Seamus Finnigan is a perfect representation of your average british teenager.

Seamus would not like the fact that you called him British